• Birth,  Homebirth,  life,  Pregnancy

    Northwest Woman's Bun in the Oven Overcooked

    November 14, 2037 SPOKANE, WA – An unusual story out of the Inland Northwest has surfaced this week after a 50-year-old woman was discovered pregnant during a visit to urgent care for a sprained ankle. While her age makes the pregnancy peculiar, the truly remarkable part of her gestation is its length. The woman, Krysann Sedberry, has been expecting for the last 20 years. In 2017, Sedberry and her husband were excited to find that they would welcome their fourth child in November of that year. November came and went, however, and as each month followed, the couple questioned whether or not they were pregnant at all. “By Christmas, we…

  • Birth,  Cancer,  death,  Grief,  life,  Love,  Worship

    And Own that Love is Heaven

    This time last year we knew. Another tumor had presented and Mom’s doctor just told us that the treatment wasn’t working. Mom realized without trying to that she would not be with us much longer and she made peace with it, mostly. She was ready for her pain to end, she was ready to be done fighting, she was ready to “be with Jesus.” She wasn’t ready to say goodbye; really, for us to mourn her. She didn’t want to be the cause of our grief. So as she laid down to get through another headache and imagined at any point she may not wake up, she made us promise her that this…

  • Birth,  Family,  life,  Love,  Motherhood

    Highest Hope

    I gave birth to her on the floor of the Birth Center – right outside the tub where I thought I might die, where I hated her from a reserve of fury I didn’t know existed, where I’d cursed the moment of conception which had brought me to this agony. She came quickly. Her eyes were steely blue, her lips resembled a rosebud, her chubby olive cheeks were too kissable to resist, and she smelled like Heaven. I am convinced. If there is a Heaven and if it has a smell it is that one. The midwife handed her to me and I don’t think she even reached my chest before…

  • Birth,  Homebirth,  Love,  Motherhood

    Prize Fighter

    My hair was knotted, my abdomen still too weak to hold me upright, and I was bleeding as I stepped into┬áthe most comfortable and undignified part of the Postpartum Mother’s uniform – the adult diaper. He held out his hand to help me out of the bathtub with a gentle touch and I felt fragile. I felt like a brittling petal, my movements were careful and slow. I was studying the floor for places to put my feet when I heard him smile as he said, “You’re so beautiful.” I was wearing a diaper, y’all. I did the head-tilt, the scoff of incredulity, the “thanks, weirdo” smile, but he wouldn’t…

  • Birth,  Family,  Motherhood

    Happy Birthday, Mom

    She tells me the story with relish – more than 20 hours of contractions, no drugs, back labor, and “you were sunny-side up!” She sneers playfully while she reminds me that I am the reason she got the drugs with my brother.  I’ve done this now, become a mom. I’ve gone through my own labor stories which I relay with indulgence to the people they bore. I have held my firstborn with tears in my eyes and loved her more fiercely in the moment of her birth than I had ever loved anything, funneled all my hope and imagination and compassion and affection into a moment I never could have…

  • Birth,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Love,  Pregnancy,  Worship

    Eve & Mary & A Baby Bump

    Life swells. Like a bruise, like a flower. It hiccups and blossoms and jolts about with new growth and this is never more clear than during pregnancy. And Mary’s swollen stomach wasn’t the start, wasn’t the end, but was in the middle of this growing, this death-becoming-life. We get word pictures of creation in labor at the moment of Jesus’ arrival. As this ordinary Jewish woman felt a miracle in her womb, every living cell felt it, too. But it wasn’t the beginning of a story toward redemption and it wasn’t the end of the work to be done. It was a climax. I love that image of Eve and…

  • Birth,  Christian Living,  Homebirth,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Motherhood,  Pregnancy

    When Midwife Means Missionary

    Because every woman deserves to know how capable she is. That her creator has endowed her with the strength of lions and wind and oceans. That she has been chosen among humans to weave together Life in her womb and that the work it takes to separate herself from that life is heroic. Every woman. Here, there, everywhere. Every woman. Because fear has no place in the carved out space God intended for Life and someone needs to tell it to get out. Carrie, the woman who assisted in the births of my children, who has been a friend and mentor here in my early mothering is amazing in her…

  • Birth

    Day of the Midwife

    Today is International Day of the Midwife. I like how kind of archaic it sounds. Because midwifery is an ancient art, a tradition passed down from the first messy birth. So today I want to honor those women who do this thing. This up-all-night thing. This hold-our-hand thing. Today I want to make sure that those women know how valued they are. Midwifery means to me… …jokes and laughs after a 5 minute check-up on the totally normal thing that is pregnancy. …tight hugs and calm words for the darkest moments of early motherhood. …a loving, stern reminder that “babies come when they’re ready” and to “stop googling.” …prayers over…