• Christian Teaching,  Community,  Grief,  hope,  life

    How to Take Communion (whether or not you're a Christian)

    As my faith has shifted I have become underwhelmed with much of my tradition. I’ve hodge-podged new rituals out of other practices and looked in dusty nooks of this one for meaningful expressions of a spirituality that no longer fits in the boxes I was given. But one ritual has never lost it’s mystery to me. Even when I couldn’t really consider myself a Christian I appreciated communion. Because this is Christianity’s addition to the universal groaning. Not a religious rite for the “in” crowd, but a deeply human, bestial cry. This is our admission that things are not as they should be, that we are broken and bleeding and…

  • Community,  Family,  Grief,  hope,  life,  Love

    On the First Anniversary

    People talk about the first year as though crossing that threshold is a thing. I used to hate it because it felt like there was an expectation that a person would be done grieving after a year. But I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s actually a hope for comfort. As if once you’ve made it a year, you will keep making it. You’ve proven to yourself that you can breathe, you can laugh, you can enjoy being her daughter even when she isn’t here the way she should be. One year ago, on June 19 my mother took her last breath. I waited up with the rest of…

  • Beauty,  Community,  Family

    Inland Strong

    The power to our house has been out for 7 cold-and-getting-colder nights since what has been called Windpocolypse – the worst wind storm since the grid went up, folks. That’s 126 years of crossing fingers that it wouldn’t happen. Someone forgot to say their prayers so we have been nomadic this last week.  We rather enjoyed the first night. We soaked up the last of the warmth from our heater’s working day while we ate deli sandwiches by a cozy fire among flickering tealights. I told our children the Family Story – how we got from two kids in love to 5 people and a dog. We cuddled and giggled…

  • Christian Living,  Community,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Love,  Uncategorized

    Something Small

       I wanted to be a missionary for a handful of years, did I ever tell you that? I spent a good amount of formative time in a culture which offered few acceptable options for young girls. I could choose between being a teacher in a Christian school, a pastor’s wife or a missionary[‘s wife]. Getting married was a given and it was tolerable to be the wife of a layman so long as we were faithful to our local gathering. There was an uspoken heirarchy of life choices and the most obvious were at the top. Even our language belied our bias – there were those who “served,” who…

  • Community,  Family,  Friends,  Home,  Motherhood

    The People

      Sometimes it feels too long. It feels like too much. I heard so many times that the third child is the hardest adjustment so anxiety crept up and took over as the Grandmas – the helpers, the burpers, the diaper-changers, the laundry doers, the meal makers, the baby holders, the soft word speakers, the hair strokers – prepared to go home. And I sent out an S.O.S. to the Women. To my far-away tribe a prayer request, to my locals a plea: help.  So they made a sort of pact over me that I wouldn’t have to be alone before I was ready. Because my having children wasn’t their choice, but…

  • Christian Living,  Community,  Deployment,  Family,  Friends,  God,  Home,  Kingdom,  Love,  Motherhood

    Light Like Lavender

    Someone once told me that she was glad to be done with her 20s. I was 20 at the time and she looked at me with soft pity and said, “Oh man, twenties are the hardest. Just wait until your thirties, they are way better. You know yourself, you don’t care as much what other people think, it’s just better.” I could have hugged her. Or gotten her flowers. Or introduced her to a puppy to cuddle. Because at the time my husband was on month 9 out of 15 in Afghanistan and I had moved home to escape ghosts. I was acutely aware that I had no idea who…

  • Community,  Motherhood

    In Need of Help!

    My friend and I are starting a new blog for moms anywhere not he spectrum of “crunchy.” We want to foster our local community, share our hearts and be a place for Mommas to find encouragement and have fun! I will be changing this blog up as it is much more a “processing life in general” blog than a mom blog or a granola blog or an anything specific blog! So please help us pick a name by commenting with your favorite (or any ideas!). I’ll be sure to keep you posted as we start our journey! Thank you!

  • Christian Living,  Community,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Uncategorized

    A Letter to my City

    I see you, Spokane. I see your smiles and waves and the way your breeze brings an appreciated respite from your hot summer days. I see your street fairs and parks dotted all over in your attempt to get people to like each other again. I see your tired houses, weary from a hundred years of progress and your sparkly sidewalk downtown – because, girl, you have a fun side. I see your sweet shops, breathing life buildings whose intent died long ago. I see your lights illuminate the parts you’re most proud of: the universities, the park you remodeled, the strip of big-businesses. I see your splash pads and…

  • Baby Berry,  Community,  Food,  Friends,  Motherhood,  Pregnancy

    Baby Berry 2's Baby Sprinkle

    So, I kind of have the best friends. Sorry. Yours are probably cool, too. A few of them {Tessa, Krista & Hannah} got their sweet and thoughtful heads together and came up with the PERFECT baby shower for Baby Berry and I. Seriously. Perfect. With little touches that made you say, “Awwww” {unless your clothespin said you weren’t allowed to} and unique games that brought wide smiles and tons of giggles. And then some of the loveliest ladies showed up with joy and excitement for this little love. They told birth stories, laughed at the word “sperm” {which I feel was used unusually often}, and just overall relished in this…

  • Christian Living,  Community,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Love,  Worship

    “Every Good and Perfect Gift Comes from Above”

    I miss him. That has not changed. The “rule” I discovered about his departure bringing minor calamities has proven true as well. RJ got splinters all over the bottom of her feet (and she won’t let me remove them), a big diaper rash suddenly formed, Gabe’s laptop just wouldn’t turn on so we couldn’t use that to communicate, Raychel has bled for the first time from a fall… and then repeated it twice more… Not that I’m really complaining because honestly, these things just make the situation funny. We are so crazy blessed… The splinters aren’t hurting her, her rash went away with treatment, Gabe has a smartphone and his…