• Birth,  Cancer,  death,  Grief,  life,  Love,  Worship

    And Own that Love is Heaven

    This time last year we knew. Another tumor had presented and Mom’s doctor just told us that the treatment wasn’t working. Mom realized without trying to that she would not be with us much longer and she made peace with it, mostly. She was ready for her pain to end, she was ready to be done fighting, she was ready to “be with Jesus.” She wasn’t ready to say goodbye; really, for us to mourn her. She didn’t want to be the cause of our grief. So as she laid down to get through another headache and imagined at any point she may not wake up, she made us promise her that this…

  • Birth,  Homebirth,  Love,  Motherhood

    Prize Fighter

    My hair was knotted, my abdomen still too weak to hold me upright, and I was bleeding as I stepped into┬áthe most comfortable and undignified part of the Postpartum Mother’s uniform – the adult diaper. He held out his hand to help me out of the bathtub with a gentle touch and I felt fragile. I felt like a brittling petal, my movements were careful and slow. I was studying the floor for places to put my feet when I heard him smile as he said, “You’re so beautiful.” I was wearing a diaper, y’all. I did the head-tilt, the scoff of incredulity, the “thanks, weirdo” smile, but he wouldn’t…

  • Birth,  Christian Living,  Homebirth,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Motherhood,  Pregnancy

    When Midwife Means Missionary

    Because every woman deserves to know how capable she is. That her creator has endowed her with the strength of lions and wind and oceans. That she has been chosen among humans to weave together Life in her womb and that the work it takes to separate herself from that life is heroic. Every woman. Here, there, everywhere. Every woman. Because fear has no place in the carved out space God intended for Life and someone needs to tell it to get out. Carrie, the woman who assisted in the births of my children, who has been a friend and mentor here in my early mothering is amazing in her…

  • Birth

    Day of the Midwife

    Today is International Day of the Midwife. I like how kind of archaic it sounds. Because midwifery is an ancient art, a tradition passed down from the first messy birth. So today I want to honor those women who do this thing. This up-all-night thing. This hold-our-hand thing. Today I want to make sure that those women know how valued they are. Midwifery means to me… …jokes and laughs after a 5 minute check-up on the totally normal thing that is pregnancy. …tight hugs and calm words for the darkest moments of early motherhood. …a loving, stern reminder that “babies come when they’re ready” and to “stop googling.” …prayers over…