• Family,  Friends,  God,  life,  Love

    It’s not a secret: I have been doubting, squinting, cocking my head at all the things I thought I knew. I have been wrestling with… whatever the hell we wrestle with in existential crises – which is the question here, this time: it is what, not why, nor how. What. I have doubted God’s kindness. I’ve doubted God’s provision, God’s fairness, God’s predisposition. I’ve doubted God’s intentions, God’s story, God’s plan. And now I have doubted God’s being as I’ve always understood it. But do you know what I never stopped believing in? What I haven’t doubted (yet) for even one second? Love. I believe in Love. I believe it matters how we treat each other,…

  • Beauty,  Cancer,  Christian Living,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Love,  Worship

    In The Likely Event that I Don't Get a Yearly Update In the Mail

    I didn’t get the Christmas New Year card out. Maybe I’ll squeeze it into the “Hey, we’re only a few days in and you know, life so it’s still acceptable for you to receive this” window. Probably not. I didn’t get the card out to tell everyone what a stupid, awesome, horrible, beautiful year we had. And I feel more compelled than I have in other years because this was a year. I mean, a damn year. This year earned her place in nostalgia – good and bad and ugly and lovely all swirling together in our memories. This year we saw God so.close. So up in our business that…

  • Christian Living,  God,  Jesus Christ,  Kingdom,  Love,  Worship

    How to Deal with "The World"

    So we want to make sure the world knows it’s broken? I see… We want to make sure we don’t feel alone in our brokenness. Because that is a scary thought, right? Being the worst… Being the most broken, the most messed up, the most hurtful and in-need-of-grace. Okay, I get it. But you know something? You are the worst. And you know what else? That is more than okay. Because of the one who loved us while we were the worst, the very worst. Because of a death-turned-life 2,000 years ago and the Love that started redeeming things the very second they broke. The very second. Love was eager…

  • Beauty,  God,  Kingdom,  Love,  Worship

    Too Good To Be True

    It’s in the way the earth smells after a much-needed rain, soaking up and breathing out the very makeup of the living. It’s in the courage of a 13 year old writing in an annex while the world is ending. In the last bite of cheesecake when your mouth savors it for a few seconds longer and your eyes close to honor the yum. The exhale of a wife whose husband is finally on safe soil after a year at war. It’s in the porch-sitting you do with a best friend while you put your feet up and sip coffee. We are surrounded by holy. We are swimming in sacred. We…